Life is like a water balloon

Oh friends–death is often a difficult subject to discuss with children as we seek to discover balance between promoting truth (as far as we understand) and exacerbating fear.

The thing about dying is–no one on “this side” of death has been dead so we are not even sure how to talk about it ourselves. We are not “exactly” sure what death looks like beyond closing our eyes here (on earth as we know it) and watching “presence” somehow leave the body.

I have often wondered if the best way to talk to children about death is to talk about the absence of presence in one’s body.
It may “look like” going to sleep.
And it may “sound like” going to sleep however, the major difference and the one that concerns us that in death, it appears that we do not quit sleeping. Dead is permanent as far as we can “see” so we say things to make us feel better like…
…don’t worry, Grandma went to be with Jesus. She’s better off now.
…don’t be sad honey, Jesus needed your little brother in heaven so he took him home.
…you don’t need to worry about dying, it will not happen until Jesus says it’s your time.
In sleeping…we breathe, wiggle, snore and toot!
When we die, there is no wiggle, breathe or sounds left in the body.
Presence escapes us.

If we must explain death then maybe we could fill a water balloon.
Squeezing it and watching life move all around inside.
When we release all the water (when presence or spirit is released) the balloon is lifeless. It does not wiggle, slosh or bounce.
However, it is still a balloon.
It is done doing its balloon work.
It will be put to rest until a time that it is refilled with water (presence again)
The owner or creator of the water balloon is the only one who can make it come to life again.
The balloon is not hurt or punished or scared.
It is just lifeless.
There is probably a better illustration.

My point is, life leaves a body that was once, encompassing life.
I don’t know how it happens nor do I know where presence goes when it leaves this body.
Some predict that we go into an eternal sleep until Jesus calls our name.
Some predict we step immediately from this life, into the very presence of God.
Some predict that we go to a holding place where we loose track of time, space and life as we once knew it. It is where we wait for judgement.

The thing I like most is this–God does not make the “immediately after-death” part, clear.
For centuries, adults have been trying to figure out what happens when you die.
God, a creative God, reserves the right to protect the mystery of death by allowing ONLY those who die to know what death looks like.
I love that mystery separates us from knowing fully.

As a parent and pastor, somewhere along the way I became comfortable with saying to children,
“I don’t know…”
“I’ve never been dead.”
“What do you think happens when you die?”
“Who can we find who has been dead so we can ask them?”

Kids are usually way more comfortable with mystery than we.
We seek to find answers, explanations and insight.
With which I agree.
To a point.
I love wisdom and knowledge and insight.
I am also asking Father to teach me to be okay living inside the mystery.
When I die, I too will gain insight into the mystery.
Until then, I am content to live.

Advertisement

Tags: adults have been trying to figure out what happens when you die., For centuries